he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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