you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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