you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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