I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
