she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
All I want is dick and wine.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
