I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
