Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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