I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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