I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize