if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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