That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
