Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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