Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
