i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
