oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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