now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
