He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
