O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
