if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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