Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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