Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
