I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
