Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
FUCK WHALES
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
