I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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