are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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