Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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