mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
