You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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