It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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