3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize