I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
