Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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