My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
