Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
