The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
