Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
