What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
