btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
