from now on my penis is your penis
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
