i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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