Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
