Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
