I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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