I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
COCAINE IS GR8
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
