what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
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Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
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Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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