please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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