well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
