it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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