My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
