I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
