becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize