after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize