i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize