she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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