I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
