i need an iv and a liver transplant
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
