I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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