lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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