I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
