She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
