just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
