She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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