I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
