O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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